A Final Good-Bye

I have to make this very short, because a lot of stuff is awaiting my attention. So, if you have not already heard, my dad passed away early Tuesday morning (yesterday). Tim and I went to Grand Rapids yesterday to help figure out details for the memorial service. We came back last night, and both of us went to our classrooms to work out some last minute details for the students who arrived today. We'll be heading back to Grand Rapids at the end of the week for Dad's funeral.

Keep checking back next week; I will post some more pictures Vanya took, and I promise to update you on the adoption process we face.

Saying Good Bye for Now

Yesterday was the day we had all been dreading. How did the time go by SO quickly??? We were all a little quieter that morning. Even Teagan seemed to know something wasn't quite right. Vanya dragged his feet changing his clothes and eating breakfast, and none of us were ready to leave for the Indianapolis airport.

During the 2-hour trip, I put photos into a 100-page photo album for Vanya to take back to school with him. It was incredibly hard to choose only 100 pictures! I think I took at least 8 times that. Vanya didn't express much interest in what I was doing, but I imagine it was mostly because he was trying so hard not to get sick.

We ALL breathed a sigh of relief when we arrived at the airport without any puking!!!!! :-) In case you were wondering, we did pack some bags, paper towels, and wipes in Vanya's backpack for the inevitable accident(s) on the plane. I was very happy that the translator, Natasha, came over and asked me what time I had last given him some medicine, when did I think he should have it again, and where did I put everything. She wrote it all down on a small tablet-- she was very organized!











After about an hour of hanging out in the terminal, they finally started checking in the kids and escorts. This took almost 40 minutes, and Vanya was very patient. During the first hour, he stayed close to our sides, took some pictures, looked through his photo album, and talked to one of his friends. He was very solemn and wouldn't play around with us very much. When we were waiting to check in, he kept playing around with his suitcase handle. I told him no (nyet!) several times, and finally I must have said it a little too harshly, because he started crying. This was the first time he cried, so I think Tim and I were a little stunned. The toll of leaving was really getting to Vanya, and I know he didn't want to leave anymore than we wanted him to. We lavished him with kisses and hugs, and he finally stopped crying. There was a teenage girl standing nearby who is Ukrainian here in the U.S. as an exchange student. I asked her to tell him that we loved him very much, to be good in school, and that we would traveling over to the Ukraine to see him soon. This seemed to provide some measure of comfort; at least we got a weak smile.











After all the luggage was checked, the group started walking toward a concourse where we would get to say one final good bye. As they started walking, one of the escorts paired up the kids to hold hands. Vanya was paired up with an older girl. Immediately after he held her hand, another girl in front of him turned around and said something to Vanya that made him cry again. Tim didn't see or hear it, but I did. Let me just say that you don't need to know Ukrainian to know that she teased him about holding hands with a girl. Her smirk and tone of voice gave it away. The escort reprimanded her and several of the girls comforted Vanya.














Evidently, they walked to the wrong concourse as they then had to turn around and go the opposite way. I took some pictures of Vanya as they walked, and finally they stopped at the security checkpoint. This was it, he was leaving us for many, many months. I did pretty well: only big tears, no sobbing or breaking down. I talked to my sister today, and we were picturing me wailing and screaming while hanging on to Vanya as he dragged me down the terminal. It was fun to laugh about today, but thankfully I didn't embarrass myself, Tim, or Vanya! Vanya was very cute as he kept turning around to see if we were still there every time the line stopped. We waved as long as we could see him, and then he was gone. It was very sad then and very sad still as I type this for you.




















We arrived home around 7:00 PM to a very quiet house. As we let Teagan out, she greeted us enthusiastically and then ran to the kitchen, tail wagging, to greet her boy. You could just see the puzzlement in her eyes when she couldn't find Vanya. She looked in his room a few times, and has been looking for him today. She must be wondering where the little boy with the tasty fingers and face went. It's been awfully hard trying to explain it to her!

Today I received an email with the address of where we can send letters and packages. Our plan is to send Vanya mail at least twice a month so that he doesn't forget about us before we can come get him. Tomorrow (Sunday) I'll be attending a meeting to learn more about the adoption process. I will post more information then.

An update on my dad: The Hospice staff caring for him doesn't expect him to make it more than another day. He's been mostly unconscious for the last 2 days. I'm glad now that we did take Vanya to meet him. Apparently he talked about him all the next day!

Another 3 posts!

Yes, I know, I was 3 days behind in posting. You will need to scroll WAY down to find where you left off last. I got a little "wordy" today!

Well, it's 12:30 AM and tomorrow (well, really today) we take Vanya back to Indianapolis to board his plane to the Ukraine. It will be a very sad day, but we wouldn't have traded this 2-1/2 week experience for anything. Many of you have asked, "What would happen if you just don't take him back to the airport?" and my reply has been, "They tend to frown on international kidnapping!" :-) Tomorrow or this weekend I will post again and tell you how the rest of this process will work.

Tim leaves early Saturday morning for his Coast Guard drill weekend, so I will be burying my head in my classroom. Teachers report on Monday, and the kids arrive on Wednesday. While I have most of my things ready, I have two closets in my room that need some organizing. If it's one thing I love, it's organizing, so that will keep my mind off of other things this weekend.

I will post pictures of Friday's departure sometime this weekend, so check back soon. I will also keep this blog going throughout this process, so we hope you stay with us during this journey.

Lastly, if you could, please say a prayer for Vanya and all the Ukrainian children and adults who were here (48 in all) that they return to Ukraine safely and without incident. Please also pray that the children who did not find a potential adoptive family this trip, find one very soon. Thank you!

Last Full Day with Vanya! :-(

Today (Thursday) was the last full day with Vanya! (Big pouting going on in the Decker household from everyone--including Teagan!) So, I thought I'd sweeten us all up by doing a donut run. As you can see from the pictures, Vanya was a big fan of his donut! Tim's parents came over again to visit, and they helped us eat all those donuts! :-)





















As mentioned a few posts earlier, today Vanya had to decide which toys he wanted to keep here for a future visit and which toys he wanted to take with him back to school. We again reminded him that the toys he wanted to take with him probably would not be his toys for very long. All the children in his school (all 200 of them!) would be sharing them. He made very wise choices: he packed up all the crayons, markers, stickers, and coloring books to take with him. He also took his small, plastic snakes and left the frogs and bug here. (We're trying to figure out if he doesn't like snakes, or if he's going to scare some other kids with them!) He was sad to leave his cars (well, really Tim's niece's cars!) and the soldiers here. But, I believe he understood that he'd see them again when he returns. He was very solemn when he made his choices, and we had to laugh when he would split a pile of something in two, so that half could stay here and half could go with him!

After we divided up the toys, we used the translation website to ask him how many good friends he had. It took several attempts, but once I explained why I wanted to know, he told us he has three very good friends. We were told that we should take him to the Dollar Store so that he could pick out some gifts for his friends. This was a big deal because we had not yet taken him into ANY store. (We read that even a grocery store is too overwhelming for them-- they probably have only been in a small corner grocery store!) So, to the Dollar Store we drove (without getting sick, thank you very much!) While his eyes grew wide when he saw the selection, he again made some great choices. He decided on a play "cell phone" for one friend and some action figures for the other two. The cell phone must have been for his very bestest good friend because we let Vanya pick a toy for himself, and he chose a cell phone too.













It was back to my school's playground after the store. This time Tim was with us, so we all had a terrific time playing on all the equipment. We even got Vanya to smile when we took a family "self" portrait.

























Dinner was a huge success tonight: Sloppy Joes, sauteed zucchini, corn on the cob, and roasted tomatoes. We really should be writing all this down somewhere, but I guess we'll figure it all out again when Vanya returns. For our last evening together, we played around outside for awhile and then came in for a family movie night.











Tonight's video was my personal favorite, "Monsters, Inc." We all snuggled on the couch and even Teagan joined us occasionally. The ending credits were barely beginning when Vanya shouted that it was shower time! He finally decided to save us some money on our hot water bill by taking a much shorter shower tonight. After the shower it was time for our bedtime ritual. Vanya finds a book, Mama settles him in his covers, Mama sits on the bed with him to read the book, Papa sits on the other side, and Teagan usually joins us. Tonight Papa grabbed the camera to shoot some pictures. When the book is over, there is much kissing, and "we love you's." It seems so weird that tonight was the last night for a long time that we could tuck him into bed. We gave him lots of extra kisses tonight in hopes that they would last until we see him again.

Playground, peanut butter & jelly, and new playmates

On Wednesday, we were back in the swing of things with lots of activities. The day started with Tim bringing Vanya to meet me at school and to discover our cool playground in the back. My friend, Amy, brought over her "almost" 7-year old daughter, and her twin 1-1/2 year old twin girls. While the "big kids" had a great time climbing, swinging, and running around, the twins weren't happy not to be included. Add in some annoying little black bugs that were attacking us, and it wasn't as much fun as we thought it would be.


























However, it wasn't a total lost cause: they brought Vanya some awesome stickers AND several temporary tattoos. He knew immediately what the tattoos were for and wanted them applied right away. We put them on when we got home, and it was a great way to sneak in some English counting skills: "Vanya, we need to count to 20, so let's go!" He loved the counting and of course, the discovery of the tattoo when the backing was removed. I was excited that one of them was an IPFW tattoo-- my 3rd college alma mater. (That's Indiana University, Purdue University, Fort Wayne for all of you "out of towners"!!!) After playing outside, we came back to my classroom, and Vanya was happy exploring on the SMARTBoard while I worked on my room some more. Below is a picture of Teagan (in case you couldn't figure it out!)











Today's lunch menu did not meet with Vanya's approval. So, in desperation, I tried the ol' standby, peanut butter and jelly. Now, I know you are thinking, "why didn't you try this much sooner???" Well, we were told that most Ukrainian kids think PB&J is the worst, so I was amazed when it got the big "thumbs up." Now, even though Tim does the majority of the cooking at our house (what am I saying, he does pretty much all of it!), Vanya thought "Mama" was the BEST! I am thinking he was comparing it to chocolate-- it rates that highly!!

Later that afternoon, we went out to the front yard to throw around the baseball, football, and the "phlat ball" (you can click on that word to see what it is-- too hard to explain!) The boys from across the street came over and, despite not being able to verbally communicate, everyone got along exceedingly well. Play has no language barrier!











We finished up the day with a cookout at our friends, the Meintels. They have three boys and a little girl, all who seemed very excited to meet Vanya. I think Vanya found the playland "mecca" here-- he got to swing, play foosball, pinball, the drums, and probably other things I just didn't see! He loved it all! While one of the boys was more than willing to trade his younger brother for Vanya, I think Vanya was thinking, "why don't we have all this cool stuff????" I guess we'll just HAVE to go back and visit when we bring Vanya back for good. (Oh, and he also got a PB&J here, so he thinks Elizabeth rocks too!) We took lots of pictures of Vanya playing the drum set because my dad was a former part-time professional drummer. I am hoping my sister will print out some of the pictures and take them for Dad to see soon.