Reflections on Mother's Day

A week ago, mothers all over celebrated Mother's Day. Everyone with whom I came in contact the week prior asked, "Aren't you so excited about your first Mother's Day?" And, I really was. I was excited to finally give up the weak grin when someone who didn't know me wished me a "Happy Mother's Day;" for after all, I WAS (and still am) a "dog Mom!" But when I awoke that day, the very first thought that came into my mind was that my mother wasn't alive to share in my joy. She's been gone for just over 6 years, and on this day I felt her absence more strongly than ever before. I thought how interested she would have been in our adoption adventure, and how she would have loved hearing about our European travels. She would have been the first to tell me not to lose Evan's Ukrainian heritage, and she probably would have researched online all the important cultural holidays and foods he'd like. She would have been pleased (along with my dad) that he loves kielbasa (Polish sausage) and perogies (Polish dumplings with mashed potatoes and cheese). Ukraine is very close to Poland, the land of my father's ancestors.

At church, the trip down memory lane continued. We watched a video interviewing three women from our congregation reminiscing about their own mothers. And although I was not one of the women interviewed, it could have been me up there: One of them reflected on her mother and her love for sewing; how she made all of her children's clothes, and how the daughter didn't appreciate that wonderful skill when she was a child and later, a teenager. With tears streaming down my face and Tim sympathizing by rubbing my back, I realized I did not have my purse with me that day. Of all the days NOT to have tissues! I just couldn't believe that on this, my very first Mother's Day, that someone would be talking about their mom who was so like my own. As I looked at Evan, who appear baffled by my tears, it really hit home that my mom wouldn't be around to help me raise him. And, while I have lots of friends and family who are more than happy to tell me what to do, it just isn't the same.